wifey a nickname for a wife
hubby a nickname for a husband
instigated started by
aghast very surprised, amazed, but unhappy too
ignorance not knowing anything about a subject
philosophy her idea on life….. about cars
do-si-do a kind of dance step in square dancing
criteria important matter, a standard
Daf a brand of car made in Holland
rubber bands circles of rubber to hold things together
whopping great slang for very very big
come round slowly change her mind
Palais glide an old time dance like the waltz
car yard a place where lots of used cars are for sale
Corolla, Datsun brands of cars
The DAF’y Dance.
It was time for their six monthly sashay around the car yards, a ritual of many years instigated by hubby. Wifey also had to attend, although she openly professed ignorance of motor vehicles on every level.
‘They have motors and go. When something goes wrong you shout for hubby,’ was her philosophy. It had worked for years.
Today they had cavorted around the Chryslers, skipped around the Skoda’s, and do-si-doed around the Datsuns, wifey dutifully following as hubby oohed and aahed over this and that.
‘Look, here’s something a bit different,’ he called out. ‘This is very unusual.’
‘Unusual is usually bad,’ she mumbled to herself. ‘I know unusual from past experience.’ She walks over to the small red car.
‘Look! This is really good. Cheap too! Wow, you don’t see many of these around!’
‘What is it? It looks weird, a bit small and roundy shaped. The red color is nice though,’ which was the only criteria she had really, that she liked the color. The manufacturer’s specifications meant nothing to wifey.
‘It’s a DAF! You don’t find these every day! I haven’t ever seen one like this for sale before. I reckon we should get this one. I could buy it, keep it for a while and sell it. I think I’d make a nice little profit on this. There’s not many of these about.’
‘Why should you make a profit on this one? You usually make a loss!’ was the reply given with just the tiniest hint of sarcasm.
‘Come and look at this engine,’ he enthusiastically waved her to the front of the car. ‘Isn’t it the most amazing thing you have very seen?’
‘What . . . what the heck . . . what the heck is that?’ she asked, absolutely aghast at the sight. ‘That’s not a motor, its all whopping great rubber bands!’
‘This is what makes it so different,’ he said, all excited. ‘It’s a most amazing bit of engineering. It’s wonderful, And this kind of motor doesn’t have so many parts to break down either, so it will be cheaper to run. You will like that.’
‘But . . . but . . . that’s not a motor. It’s just great big rubber bands on pulleys. I am not driving that thing!’
‘Oh it’ll be fine,’ hubby said soothingly. ‘You’ll get used to it. You will love it after a while!’
The look on her face should have been enough, but he was one of those men who knew exactly what wifey thought on all matters. The trouble was he was often wrong.
‘I think I’ll buy it. It’s a terrific little car,’ he said still very excited at having a car that was so different and unique.
‘You buy it if you like. I will NOT drive it. It’s up to you.’
Hubby smiled a little smile, knowing in his heart of hearts that she would come round. After all, she had got used to him buying and selling cars all their married life, she got over it.
‘I’ve learned to drive everything except a train and a 747 jumbo jet,’ she used to joke to all her friends.
Do you know the Palais Glide? The stomp-stomp-stompstompstomp at the end? Wifey executed that perfectly all the way back to their car.
‘Hello dear, I am ready to be picked up now! Then I need to call in on Mum and drop off some groceries. How long will you be?’ asked Wifey in a voice of smoothest honey. ‘Have you been back to the car yard yet?’
‘Yes, I’ve been,’ he snarled. ‘They took it back. Only lost a few dollars. They’ve got a lovely little Corolla, I’ll bring you back to look at it later.’
‘Thanks darling,’ continued the honeyed voice. She grinned to herself. It had taken all her strength to stand up to him, it had taken 11 weeks and 4 days for him to give in, but she had not set foot nor bottom in that ghastly little DAF.
‘A little Corolla will do me just fine,’ she grinned to herself.
These links will tell you more about Daf cars.
Questions for review.
- What is a Daf?
- How did the wife feel about the Daf?
- Why was it different?
- What did the man and his wife do every six months?
- What color was the Daf?
- Find the words that are ‘dancing’ words, ike sashay, do-si-do etc.
- Try and explain the ‘dancing’ words you have found.
- Explain what a car yard looks like.
- What brands of cars are mentioned in this story?
- Does your family own a car? What brand is it?