Mixed marriage

This is what we call a nonsense poem. It is a story about a crab being in love with a seagull, a bird that lives by the ocean. We know it is not possible for such a thing to happen, normally a sea gull would eat the crab, but it still makes a funny story.

Protruding                 to poke out, to be above the surface

Wistfulness                a sort of sadness, wishing

Sparse                         not many, only a few

Mascara                     make-up to put on your eyelashes

Blush                          your cheeks to go pink

Demure                     shy

Lashes                        eyelashes

A tad                          slang for a little bit, not much

Soar                            to fly freely

Wheel                        to fly freely, in circles

Wed                            to be married at a wedding

Jeep                            a kind of car

Kelp                            seaweed

Lair                             nest, den, home

Bliss                           to be very happy


A crab. Notice at the front there are two eyes protruding from the body, from under the shell at the front.


A sea gull, a bird that lives beside the sea or ocean.

‘Miss Sand crab,’ said the seagull, ‘Oh your beauty drives me mad

Your eyes of red protruding show wistfulness so sad

With lashes rather sparse, and mascara’d just a tad

Oh yes my lovely sand crab, your beauty drives me mad.’


The sand crab blushed with pleasure, she dropped her eyes demure

And fluttered her few lashes, of seagull’s love was sure

She gave a gentle tender smile extending one front claw

‘Although we might be oddly matched our love is so secure.’


‘I want to be your husband to cherish and to hold,’

‘That could be difficult,’ she said, ‘cause you love warm, not cold.

And I live ‘neath the waters while you soar in clouds folds

We’re not exactly suited,’ the lovesick gull was told.


‘I’m sure we’ll get around it, such problems are not rare

If you’ll move to the cave here I’ll build a nest of hair

In day time you’ll go swimming, while I wheel in the air

Then nights of endless passion together we can share.’


‘You first must ask my father,’ the sand crab doubtful said

‘No problem,’ said the seagull as he lifts his proud white head

‘I’ll be a model son in law an honest life I’ve led

I’m sure he will accept me. Oh yes, he’ll let us wed.’


‘I want a golden ring,’ said she ‘to prove your love so deep.’

‘I’ll buy you one for every leg with diamond fires that leap.’

‘For you,’ she said, ‘I’ll buy a comb your feathers fine to sweep

For outings and for shopping, I’ll buy the latest Jeep.’


So seagull married sand crab, t’was the wedding of the year

She wore a gown of kelp and pearls, his penguin suit he aired

They settled down in wedded bliss, a most unusual pair

And raised one hundred crab gulls in their hair lined cave like lair.

Questions for review.

  1. Describe a sea gull.
  2. Describe a sand crab.
  3. Is it possible for them to marry? Why or why not?
  4. What kind of poem is this?
  5. Why did the sand crab say ‘you must ask my father?’
  6. ‘ ‘Cause you love warm not cold’. What does this mean?
  7. What is mascara and would a crab use this?
  8. What do you think of this poem? Is it funny? Silly? Romantic?




©Lana Kerr         www.englishstoriesforfun.com



One Response to Mixed marriage

  1. I think this website has got some really good info for everyone. “The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.” by Aristotle.

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